Importance of Give and Take Relationship
“Give and take” is a fundamental principle in all personal relationships; you can’t expect to get something unless you give something in return.
When the balance between give and take is disrupted, problems arise, and partners believe they aren’t receiving enough out of their relationship.
The real disadvantage is not providing enough – as the biblical proverb goes, you reap what you sow. Have you ever been in a relationship where one person did nothing but give while the other solely took advantage of the situation?
Those who donate on a regular basis may not be able to receive something in return, which is a disadvantage that must be addressed.
Consider the following scenario case
Joe and Sarah have been married for a long time. Sarah performs all of the housework herself, performs errands, and ensures that Joe has everything he needs, from breakfast to ironing his shirts.
She also attends sporting events and movie screenings with him, even if she doesn’t particularly enjoy them. Sarah once asked Joe to accompany her to a play she had been meaning to see for a long time, but he declined.
Sarah is enraged and begins to rant about all of the times she has not received anything in return.
The scenario differs just slightly between different couples:
Alice has had a very hectic week. One of the kids became ill, she needed to finish a critical project at work, and a friend asked her to look after her dog while she was out of town. Her husband, John, offered to clean the house for the weekend, but she declined, claiming that he wouldn’t do it properly.
On the opposite hand, Alice is so drained each night that she falls asleep as quickly as she jumps into mattress and so they by no means have time to speak to one another or spend time collectively.
In each cases, there’s no give and take relationship.
In the primary instance, Joe must turn into much less egocentric and learn to give. While within the second story, Alice should cease being a perfectionist, delegate a few of her work, and learn to obtain.
Is your relationship much like one of many two cases? Here are some methods to fine-tune each day interactions together with your associate and obtain an ideal stability between give and take:
Different Ways to Have a Give and Take Relationship
Conversation is not only about exchanging information. People speak to one another to share emotions, to get reduction, and to re-assure themselves when they’re coping with issues.
Common errors in a dialog are speaking only about your self and never being an energetic listener.
Speak about your issues and considerations, but in addition supply the opposite particular person the possibility to speak as well and actually hearken to them, as a substitute of interrupting and focusing once more simply in your particular person.
Has your spouse ready your favourite dish final weekend? If she asks you to assist her purchase a brand new costume, be part of her and be affected person whereas she tries on each outfit.
A relationship the place one associate does all of the efforts and the opposite all the time refuses to supply assist to the identical extent is misbalanced and unfulfilling.
Compliments are a significant a part of a wholesome relationship.
Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of wants – on top of the pyramid we’ve got self-actualization.
Oftentimes, your associate wants you to watch their private progress and acknowledge their achievement or qualities.
From telling your partner how nice they give the impression of being earlier than going out to dinner to exhibiting your admiration for his or her outcomes at work, a well-thought and trustworthy praise daily could make wonders in your relationship.
Nobody is ideal, that’s for positive, however some individuals react extra negatively to their associate’s errors.
Each time you get indignant as a result of your partner left house this morning without washing the dishes, take into consideration an identical scenario the place you didn’t meet their expectations both, however they reacted much less violently. Is the struggle price it, in spite of everything?
Being concerned in a give and take relationship doesn’t imply you should be collectively 24/7 and never settle for your associate’s determination of spending time individually.
Understand that folks in a relationship can have their very own hobbies or do actions with different individuals as well, and in addition take pleasure in your time alone – it is going to do each of you good!
Putting these items of recommendation into follow could also be tough at first, or make you are feeling awkward. But, should you really feel your relationship wants enchancment, doing issues the identical manner as you all the time have won’t make a difference.