Different Thinking, You got married and want to enjoy your life you so it for some months but when you get settled after all the hype of being newly married you start understanding each other you talk you spend time together to know each other better only than you realize differences between you two.
Either you like them or you hate them if you like them then you are very lucky but if you hate them and get annoyed by them than you are in trouble for the rest of your life. Differences can be related to anything either small or big, suppose you enjoy sports and she likes to read, you are efficient but she is a bit lazy.
Different Thinking, You are organized she is not, you are social she likes privacy as I say it can be anything. She thinks staying home is cozy but you think outing is a must so you guys start arguing and it creates problems between you two. It’s not bad to have differences but extreme of anything is bad.
You did notice all these differences when you were dating her but back then you were so in love that you ignore these and you thought she will change after marriage to your liking. Same is the case here my wife and I are very different from each other if I knew this before marriage I wouldn’t marry her probably but truth is I love her a lot too and she does love me too its just that we are very different from each other our preferences and choices are way different and there are a lot of clashes between us due to which our married life is getting sour, Different Thinking.
“behind every great husband is an encouraging wife”
Different Thinking, I should tell you some points you need to know before getting married:
- There can be a serious difference between you two so you guys should date first to know about the compatibilities and how serious you are to go for the responsibility of marriage so you don’t have to deal with difference later.
- Judge your interest and passions know that are you ready to accept each other as they are or not only then decide about marriage.
- Talking is necessary to talk to each other about the fears and things beforehand. Differences are not harmful they just disturb your life but you can make them positive also but you just have to make a serious effort for it.
Why can’t we be on the same page, Different Thinking
In my heart I know I love her completely but her few things annoy me a lot I know we think differently but I sometimes got the idea from her that maybe she thinks I am stupid and she deals me like that too which is terrible for me she just doesn’t understand me.
Women just don’t get how men think and vice versa, this is quite true as I fail to understand her sometimes. Women think about whole future but men just limit their thinking to one scenario I think it’s not wrong future is uncertain why we take tension about the event which might happen in about 3 or 4 years later, this is ridiculous.
It’s my nature I focus on one task I am not a multi-tasker but she has a problem with this too. I also have a problem with her not driving but I don’t give her hard time for it than why she does that to me.
It’s a fact men think with their brains they are rationales but women are always emotional she will choose to cry for 15 minutes instead of solving the problem but men will instead take 10 minutes to solve that problem Different Thinking.
I have a nature of enjoying the current moment but she just remain tense about god knows what and try to make me tense also. I want to have fun but she has to do work at that time and then she complained I don’t give her time.
whatever I say she denies because she doesn’t like the idea because of Different Thinking.
She has so many issues with me that sometimes I think why she married me. Whatever I suggest she refused making me angry she always puts my efforts down the drain hurting me more. Let me list down few things for you guys, how she denies me:
- When I realize my mistakes I want to fix them but she is so stubborn that she refused my help also. I want us to communicate with each other and care for each other’s feelings but with her this attitude I find it quite difficult to do. I want both our needs and concerns to be fulfilled.
- I know I am her place to de-stress her self but what about me I also have problems I also come home tired I want our relationship healthy and peaceful. She wants to have quality time with me but her participation is also very important for it.
- I compliment her a lot but she doesn’t do the same for me. When I want her to wear something I like she just simply refused and wear whatever she wants even if I don’t like it.
- When I want to help her in-home chores she stops me and then later blames me for not helping her.
Different Thinking, I get angry with her but then I love her because she is my wife
Her behavior is very weird sometimes and I got so angry with her that I want to murder her but at the same time, I love her so much that I can’t think of living without her. She is a different sort of girl quite unique if I say so I right.
She has the ability to dominate sometimes she talks in a way that I began to believe maybe she is right and I am wrong. I have tried several times to fix her but I forget opposites attract and its good for us that we know each other.
She is my comfort zone I don’t want someone else in my life. She is pretty, beautiful and above all, she is my wife. I think we need to embrace all the differences and love each other more. I am an achiever and she is the developer and together we can do wonders.
“if I did anything in my life right is when I gave my heart to you”
How can we come on the same page
Different Thinking, So the main problem is how to be on the same page, I think we should be supportive of each other she has come to my sports games and she cheered too for me so I should visit museums with her as we spend time and take interest in each other’s hobbies we will fight less and enjoy more.
Our interests are very important to us so why not use them to get close to each other. We need to expand our view both of us should consider each other’s views on something and embrace our differences. To point fingers at each other is not the solution.
We should become realistic and be compatible, not identical so our marriage would thrive and need to learn from our mistakes we have to live together for the rest of life so why not enjoy it while we are doing that. Complement each other and love what we do.
Be tolerant and stop our conflicts. Even if it is a sacrifice on my part I want to do it for her because I love her.
“couples that pray together stay together”
I hate fighting, how to get safe with arguments with her
In marriage, there can be things on which you can’t agree its normal but on few things when you want to be safe and avoid argument keep them in mind.
- You are married now divorce word should never be used.
- Make marriage your top priority and try to strengthen it.
- Meet the sexual needs of your partner.
- Don’t show lack of interest.
- Speak truth avoid keeping secrets.
- Keep your children out of it.
- Never allow your parents to come in between arguments.
- Allow each other to speak.
- Keep patience at hand.
What do I have to do to make her happy and we get on the same page?
It’s a fact you can’t make your wife fully happy but one can try it. stop hurting her feelings and don’t use painful words during arguments. Don’t put the blame on something’s that goes wrong on her.
If she wants to empty her frustration on you cool down and allow her after some time talking to her calmly that she was wrong. Spend hours together and get to understand her thinking. Don’t leave her like that she will think you don’t care anymore and become worse.
Take her to lunch and dinner dates and reassure her of your presence in her life. Be confident that you can do it and actually made effort for it, you will see positive results soon. God has designed men and women differently so recognize the difference and ensure a safe and healthy relationship Different Thinking.
“ the goal in marriage is not to think alike but to think together”