Backbiting is like you take a knife out of your pocket and stab a person from behind without his knowledge of your action. You slander someone without him knowing you are doing it to ruin his reputation.
In every society, backbiting is considered as a sin and it should be because talking wrong about someone behind his back is never a good sign. It destroys his image and if he is talking bad about another person than its definitely going to ruin his image also.
It is liking provoking wrath in other people so that he does something wrong also. It creates tons and millions of problems in life and ruins good relationships as well. It has much reason which I will discuss later. Its considered a major sin in every religion so we need to avoid it strictly.
Some consider it moral sin and some consider it gravest sin against each other. I don’t think so it has any benefit but to some, it may have some benefits, maybe he got some job or another thing which he really needs but so far we all consider it a wrongdoing on doers behalf.
In Judaism, backbiting is like spreading the wrong name of a person and it’s a very bad kind of sin there.
Dishonesty regarding Understanding
People are so selfish and arrogant in their understanding of things that they ignore the feelings of other person and go beyond limits to destroy the image of another person. To compete with each other they use this backbiting tool to defame each other. On the inside maybe they are aware of this wrongdoing but they got so blind in their dishonesty they feel it’s their right to do so. But if it does not meet their expectations it’s a waste of time and energy they need to understand it. My advice to those is not too steep so low that in the end it only harm you. If you know something bad about a person don’t spread it by taking pride in your knowledge you are human and they make mistakes but try to avoid ruing someones hard earned image. You have knowledge of something take it as a guide.
Dishonesty of your Power
When you know something about someone you automatically have power over them. And when you tell this to someone else with the intention of destroying someone than you have taken wrong use of your power you are a dishonest person. You feel pride on ignorance of other person everyone denied the conceit and selfishness because it can threaten the life of another person. In your ignorance, you destroyed his hard-earned image and that is extremely wrong about you. If you are doing it to attract others towards you then it will do you know good because when they know the truth you will lose everything. If you want to increase your worth stop backbiting and no effort for your self. Ponder once
Advantages of Backbiting
I don’t think so and agree that there should be any advantage of backbiting but I have listed few:
He gets what he wants by telling others about the severity of wrongdoings by that person.
- Maybe a person who is in need of job gets a job by it.
- Maybe he got promoted of there is an increase in his salary.
- He got to be in good books of others.
- He can get a girl by backbiting against his current boyfriend and be ending their relationship as a result.
- A sibling wants to have something so they do it for getting permission from parents.
- Getting monetary help in extreme need.
- You do it to protect someone.
In Islam, backbiting is like eating the flesh of your dead brother.
Disadvantages of Backbiting.
There should be a long list of it but I am just giving summarize points:
- Sabotage the image of another person.
- Ruing their worth in the eyes of others.
- Calling for unnecessary wrath upon yourself.
- You get to harm your own self.
- Accusing others shows your evil behavior.
- You just make situations worse then it already is.
- In your unawareness of severity of wrongdoing, you hurt another person.
- its a broker of relationships.
- There is no rectification of it once done.
- No forgiveness give to the person doing it.
- It makes you weak.
- It is a sign of lack of professionalism.
- It shows your incapacity and lack of honesty.
“Never tell your problems to others 20% won’t care and 80% are glad you have them”
Who can b benefit with it and who cannot.
Obviously, the person who has some hidden motive behind doing it got to have some benefit from it otherwise a person to whom it is told can only get himself depressed and whose it is for him it is ruing his personality. One should protect others from harm but backbiting is not an ideal option. Maybe your intentions are pure but try to avoid it in any case.
Which kind of person does it
We sometimes so got into our conversations that we ended up talking about someone who is not present currently and it is mostly a bad word about them. It’s a universal fact you want to make interesting conversation do backbiting! We shudder sometimes that we are doing it but nevertheless, we do it. We generally fail to realize the effects of backbiting just do it for the sake of fun. Obviously, one who wants to have some benefit from it or just and ignorant can do backbiting. Always know about the circumstances of it for others and also for your self. It can even ruin families so be careful in doing it.
In Buddhism, backbiting like going against correction of speech.
How to get safe with it
Nobody, I repeat nobody is safe from backbiting mostly women are considered victims of it because there is so much competition they have created for themselves. The person will feel upset and disturbed for days there could be a strong sense of loss too but you need to save yourself all this by having patience. If you hear something regarding it don’t go to that person and start abusing than what is the difference between you and him. I know it emotionally drained you but patience is the key and believes that they will have their karma soon. God knows best and he will do best for you. Don’t complain just ignore that person until effects of it subside. Do your good deeds they will surely get knowledge someday.
How to handle it if you are in situation
How backbiting happens and how you can handle it?
Jealousy- it’s the main reason for backbiting in others absence. You envy what other has and you want it so you backbite to achieve it. The solution is to trust each other and never listen bad about your friend or partner.
In Christianity, backbiting is a grave sin equals to a murder.
- Frustration- understand that he has done it out of frustration and try to forget and forgive do not get annoyed and harm our-self feel gratitude that you got to see his true colors.
- Enjoyment- if it has been done for enjoyment purposes you laugh at someone in their absence than ignore it take it as a good laugh nothing else don’t go over it and assume bad things maybe it’s their nature they talk like that and they have no other meaning by doing it.
- Choice- if they are choosing to do it than its extremely wrong and cannot be justified. They have plenty of time to waste like that they are dangerous but what choice you have you can confront them but can’t make them stop it’s their habit.
- Self- importance – they do not fear just want to get famous by making another person bad. They want to create your negative impression and impress others. This is highly unfair to you. But you need to have faith in God’s plan for you sure it will worth it.
In Hinduism, backbiting is so grievous act that it’s like a poison.
Try to make them realize by having a calm conversation with them and telling them that it’s not worth the effort. Be bold, express your discomfort and make them stop doing it further. Think that if it hurt you so much how will it hurt that person whose image is being destroyed. Work to correct it otherwise you have heard famous saying ‘what goes around comes back around’ no one is perfect, be sympathetic towards others. Try to focus your attention on helping others this way you will get peace and popularity.
Every religion heavily condemned backbiting, its harmful and sin.
Does it ruins relationship
It can ruin relationship beyond repair one gets so hyper that they didn’t wanna listen to other person and calls it off. It ruins families and friends also its such a bad thing. No wonder its considered the greatest sin!
“The only thing you do behind someone’s back is to pray for them”